love will win

love will win.
in the end.
anger will cease.
tears flow.
because this isnt who you were raised to be.
because this isnt who i hoped you would choose to be.

but thats what its all about really, isnt it?
choices.
you get to choose.
thats your God given right. your God allowed freedom.

He made it that way.
He loves. Unconditionally.
and He wants you to love. unconditionally.
and He wants me to love. unconditionally. you. me loving you. in spite of choices.

He loves me regardless and always forgives, always extends grace & mercy.
me, not so much.
but i must learn. i must try. because this is the way i was raised.
this is who He hopes i will choose to be.

so i will. regardless.
regardless of anger. regardless of tears. regardless of time.
i will love. unconditionally.
i will extend grace.
i will extend mercy.
i will be like Him.
love will win.

i can't fix this.
i don't even want to fix this.
i just want it fixed.

i want love.
i want to be cherished.
i want to be planned, thought out, thought about, prepared for and made provision for.

selfish isnt love
rude isnt love
carrying on like theres no one else isnt love

does it matter.
well, yes. to me it does.
but to get thru we just make it not matter.
because someday wont be like this.

someday i will matter.
someday i will be first.
someday i will be loved, thought of, and planned for.

someday someone will say - here. this is all for you. i thought of it and planned it and made it just for you. acutally i did this all before you were born. i actually did it all before the world even came to be.
i did this all for you. just because. on purpose.

seasons

the colors change.
the leaves fall.
so do tears.
yet, through it all
You. Are. God.

hearts break. people move on.
but i'm stuck.
here.
here in what could have been.

i taught. they chose wisely.
but spring was the enemy.
summer should have been.
so i wait. til fall. til december.

maybe there will be a happily ever after.
afterall.

good word

"When your faith endures many conflicts and your spirit sinks low, do not condemn yourself. There is a reason for your season of heaviness. Great soldiers are not made without war. Skillful sailors are not trained on the shore. It appears that if you are to become a great believer you will be greatly tested. If you are to be a great helper to others, you must pass through their trials. The uncut diamond has little brilliance, the unthreshed corn feeds no one, and the untried believer is of little use or beauty. There are great benefits to come from your trials and depression....... Charles Spurgeon.

all alone but not really

today, the first taste of empty nest.
not so much like chocolate.
more like buttermilk.
thank you Lord for giving this in doable doses - not all at once.
with You no one ever walks alone.

the truth

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Behold, all those who were incensed against you Shall be ashamed and disgraced;
They shall be as nothing, And those who strive with you shall perish.
You shall seek them and not find them - Those who contended with you.
Those who war against you Shall be as nothing, As a nonexistent thing.
Isaiah 41:10-12 (NKJV).

Young Love

*sigh*
young love...
oh the bliss.
butterflies.
oh the ache.
tears.