love will win

love will win.
in the end.
anger will cease.
tears flow.
because this isnt who you were raised to be.
because this isnt who i hoped you would choose to be.

but thats what its all about really, isnt it?
choices.
you get to choose.
thats your God given right. your God allowed freedom.

He made it that way.
He loves. Unconditionally.
and He wants you to love. unconditionally.
and He wants me to love. unconditionally. you. me loving you. in spite of choices.

He loves me regardless and always forgives, always extends grace & mercy.
me, not so much.
but i must learn. i must try. because this is the way i was raised.
this is who He hopes i will choose to be.

so i will. regardless.
regardless of anger. regardless of tears. regardless of time.
i will love. unconditionally.
i will extend grace.
i will extend mercy.
i will be like Him.
love will win.

i can't fix this.
i don't even want to fix this.
i just want it fixed.

i want love.
i want to be cherished.
i want to be planned, thought out, thought about, prepared for and made provision for.

selfish isnt love
rude isnt love
carrying on like theres no one else isnt love

does it matter.
well, yes. to me it does.
but to get thru we just make it not matter.
because someday wont be like this.

someday i will matter.
someday i will be first.
someday i will be loved, thought of, and planned for.

someday someone will say - here. this is all for you. i thought of it and planned it and made it just for you. acutally i did this all before you were born. i actually did it all before the world even came to be.
i did this all for you. just because. on purpose.

seasons

the colors change.
the leaves fall.
so do tears.
yet, through it all
You. Are. God.

hearts break. people move on.
but i'm stuck.
here.
here in what could have been.

i taught. they chose wisely.
but spring was the enemy.
summer should have been.
so i wait. til fall. til december.

maybe there will be a happily ever after.
afterall.

good word

"When your faith endures many conflicts and your spirit sinks low, do not condemn yourself. There is a reason for your season of heaviness. Great soldiers are not made without war. Skillful sailors are not trained on the shore. It appears that if you are to become a great believer you will be greatly tested. If you are to be a great helper to others, you must pass through their trials. The uncut diamond has little brilliance, the unthreshed corn feeds no one, and the untried believer is of little use or beauty. There are great benefits to come from your trials and depression....... Charles Spurgeon.

all alone but not really

today, the first taste of empty nest.
not so much like chocolate.
more like buttermilk.
thank you Lord for giving this in doable doses - not all at once.
with You no one ever walks alone.

the truth

Fear not, for I am with you;
Be not dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Behold, all those who were incensed against you Shall be ashamed and disgraced;
They shall be as nothing, And those who strive with you shall perish.
You shall seek them and not find them - Those who contended with you.
Those who war against you Shall be as nothing, As a nonexistent thing.
Isaiah 41:10-12 (NKJV).

Young Love

*sigh*
young love...
oh the bliss.
butterflies.
oh the ache.
tears.

waiting

thousands of years ago the children of God cried out, "o come, o come Immanuel"
today...the cry still rings out from this child of God. O Come, O Come Immanuel...

5 years and counting...

In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ Tell them...These stones are to be a memorial to the people… forever.” And Joshua said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their fathers, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them… For the Lord your God… He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the Lord is powerful and so that you might always fear the Lord your God.” Joshua 4

On behalf of God's amazing grace ~ celebrating 5 years seizure free

… I stand in awe of your deeds O Lord… Habakkuk 3:2

driving ms. daisy

today, we drive.
tomorrow, gray hair.
yesterday, still my child
now, my young man.

Today I...

...dreamed, lived, breathed, believed
...trusted, hoped, let go, held my breath
...danced, celebrated, rejoiced, smiled

in the book of my life, i wonder what page number i fulfilled today? you know, being that they are all ordained for me even before one of them comes to be...

I Am A...

...totally forgiven

...fully accepted

...deeply loved

...daily empowered

...child of God

you can always come home

today we left a place that has been home for the last 45 years. we are moving forward because spiritual growth beckons. but it's nice to know that "home" is always there for us. and welcoming arms waiting to hug us. but sometimes comfortable isn't healthy. so here's to becoming everything God designed and called us for....here's hoping that the wedding march is about to start. does anyone hear a trumpet?

no do overs

Here's the deal...i was in starbucks and missed an opportunity. conversation went something like this...
me to friend: i can let you taste my drink but not off the straw. open the lid.
(cashier laughing) i'm just like you. i don't like to share either.
me: i don't even let my husband drink after me.
friend: you guys - at least i'll be well adjusted when we get taken over. i'll survive. but you two...
cashier: (whispering as friend walks off) don't worry, we won't be taken over.
me: nothing...nada...zilch...when what i should have said was,
"YES WE WILL!" and i hope you, like me, won't be here when we are. because those days will be hard. harder than anything we've ever known.

but someday...some sweet day...Jesus will come and take us all away. at least all of those who know Him and call Him Lord. and i'm one of those. and i hope the cashier is too. and maybe, just maybe, next time i'll be brave enough to ask instead of living with this nagging wondering.

boys will be boys

boys..such a blessing...such a practice for not worrying, for casting all my cares on Him and for practicing: be anxious for nothing...in prayer make my requests known.

my perfect world

why does everyone need a piece of me?...

why do people cuss?....

why can't i get on the internet or try to post a new writing without being bombarded with images that i prefer not be seered into my mind?...

why is my hometown turning into a foreign land where i don't recognize the residents or understand the language they speak?...

why...why...why...

my perfect world...awaits me

new beginnings

this week...we say goodbye to junior high
as chris rice sings, "oh how i love the 8th grade..."
when life seems simple from the other side when viewed thru the eyes of my son
but through the tear stained eyes of mom, new chapters are often hard to read.

travelers on a journey...we are only passing through